The Snowmen: The Latimer Residence

"Laurel and Hardy Statue" by Hilton Teper
Outside the Coronation Hall Theatre, Ulverston,
Cumbria, UK
Under Creative Commons Licence 3.0

Previous Episode: The Snowmen: Backstreets of London

Next Episode: The Snowmen: The Great Intelligence

Game version played: 2.4.1

The Snowmen was the 2012 Christmas special, shown in the break between the two halves of season 7. It’s a significant episode in the show’s continuity, being the proper start for the Impossible Girl arc and featuring the return of the Great Intelligence, an old, old foe of the Doctor.

When preparing to write something about this episode I had to use the marvellous TARDIS Data Core to remind myself of the storyline. That’s not a good sign and I’d have to say The Snowmen is not one of my favourites.

I like the paternoster gang and it is a good looking episode. Strax’s battle with the memory worm is predictable but still funny. When you see Laurel & Hardy approach a large cake you know what's coming, but the pay-off still cracks me up. 

However The Snowmen doesn't grip me. I'd love to have the skills to build a copy of the Snowmen, but they won't make you feel uneasy when passing the real deal in winter. Clara is killed, but we’ve only just got to know her and she’s died once already. The plot device of Dr Simeon needing the DNA from the drowned and frozen governess is a bit weak. The Great Intelligence/ Dr Simeon has no qualms about killing, so if he wants some frozen DNA to build an ice army from why not drown some poor muscle-bound victim in a tank at his own place. Much simpler and you could pick your own soldier blueprint.

I’m not bothered by the complete lack of scientific plausibility behind his plan. People describe Doctor Who as science fiction but let’s not kid ourselves. It’s Fantasy dressed in SF clothes. Yes they build on valid ideas and theories such as multiple universes, time travel, a meteor impact wiping out the dinosaurs etc. but basically it’s pure make believe. The Doctor is a wizard with a magic cabinet and a wand. Do I care? Not a jot.

Fish that live in the clouds? Preposterous. People riding through the skies on a shark-drawn carriage? Priceless.

Could the Earth have previously been populated by a race of intelligent humanoid dinosaurs who were capable of space flight, yet we've never found any trace of them? Don’t be daft. Do you want to watch something called Dinosaurs on a Spaceship? Do I ever?

The Snowmen didn’t feel like a Christmas special either, despite the obvious seasonal trappings. In my mind the Crimbo episodes need to be big, spectacular and mostly stand-alone. It’s one evening when the whole family sits around the telly wanting something entertaining. I reckon Christmas 2012 probably sounded like “Why’s Doctor Who in such a mood? He wasn’t this miserable in my day... blah, blah, blah”

“What? Who’s Amy Pond? That nice red-headed girl? Where did she go? Back in time? Well he’s got a time machine hasn’t he? That doesn’t make any sense. When this was in Black & White...yack, yack yack.”

“Soufflés? What’s the big deal about soufflés? If she’d said jelly babies then I might... drone, drone, drone.”

The Snowmen isn't helped by having to bridge between the two parts of season 7, neither of which built up a full head of steam. 

Still it isn’t terrible, and an average Doctor Who episode is still better than most telly. I liked the TARDIS being parked on a cloud, and the 11th Doctor seemed to finally find some dress sense. The Doctor fits well into Victorian London and I can believe he’d take a sabbatical there. The Impossible Girl was an interesting mystery with a satisfying conclusion. No real problems, just not a classic. 

Freezing black ice. A driver's nightmare

Let’s get on with the game. The Snowmen: The Latimer Residence is the 10th level of Doctor Who Legacy so give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far. It’s a TV episode with Yellow Time Fragments to win. I played with the 11th Doctor at Rank 2, Madame Vastra, Jenny Flint, and Porridge all at Lv.5, and Rory at Lv.4 leaving one empty slot in the roster.

Wave 1 of 4 kicks off inside the hallway of a posh looking house. There’s a strange portrait under the stairs at the back. I must remember to look more closely, after I’ve beaten off the three Yellow Snowmen attacking me. Once again they’re durable but slow, and I defeated them before they could inflict any damage.

Wave 2 comes with a health warning, and something that looks like a Weeping Angel charges at you down the stairs. It is in fact the Ice Governess. She is also Yellow, with a Stun attack called Freeze! Stuns are a pain and she looked quite scary so I shattered her into a thousand pieces before she could move. I got a Time Crystal as reward.

Wave 3 features the return of the Big Blue Snowman with his Black Ice power, able to turn Blue Gems to Black. He’s brought his two Yellow oppos with him. The three of them lasted a couple of rounds but did no damage, and I scored a Yellow Fragment when they died.

The final Boss wave is now upon us, and we have the Ice Governess plus Big Blue Snowman to deal with. I gave it my best shot but both of my enemies were still standing after my first attack, the Ice Governess just barely. She stunned the 11th Doctor which meant that I couldn't use the Blue gems on the board. Jenny Flint was ready to convert Blue Gems to Red which was good timing, but the Snowman had just turned my Blue gems to Black so there was no point. Well played Snowman, well played.

Despite their cunning strategy, I killed them both next turn.

The battle was won, again quite comfortably. Booty was A Time Crystal and a Yellow Time Fragment. The experience won got Jenny Flint up to LVL.6 and I boosted her ATK, Rory got up to LVL.5 so I boosted his HEAL. With these increases my team, using the 11th Doctor, now has overall stats of 

HP: 701, ATK: 487, Heal 162.
Colour totals are Blue: 177, Red: 97, Yellow: 109, Green:44, Black: 60

We're a fifth of the way through Season 7. Still having fun? I know I am.