Pressing the 'Publish' button

The biggest achievement of my writing career so far is my book Hiding. Back when I first decided to take writing seriously, I thought that if I ever got a book published I would have 'made it'. However I soon realised that it would instead be an important milestone, rather than the ultimate goal.

Despite this realism, once Hiding hit the virtual shelves (and I hesitate to say this) it was a bit of an anticlimax. I didn't feel a sudden surge of confidence, a spontaneous burst of writing super powers, or a big wedge of cash materialise in my back pocket. I didn't even get a certificate to stick on the wall.

What I did get, and continue to feel, was a sense of accomplishment. I thought of an idea, wrote the story, crafted it into a book, learnt self publishing, and finally pressed the 'Publish' button. I'd been thinking about it, talking about it and working towards it for years. Now I'd done it. I'd written a book.

Strangely enough that last step, to press 'Publish', was perhaps the hardest of all. Once released into the wild it would be properly finished. Available for all to see and as good as it was ever going to get. I was asking people to spend time on money on it, and that made it fair game to be ignored if I was lucky, or be criticised and ridiculed if I wasn't.

I now wonder if that's why it took me so long to take the final step of self-publishing. Up until then I was a keen amateur and hadn't dared to stick my head above the parapet. Once that button was pressed there was no hiding place.

Well like I said, anticlimax. No one has pointed and laughed at me yet (well not for Hiding anyway), and I haven't been sued for taking up valuable web space. Of course you've got to be noticed first. Critics wouldn't take a pop at Dan Brown if he didn't sell books by the lorry load.

I don't mind the anticlimax now, because the rewards of publishing your own book are durable, not a fleeting glory. I love it when I see that one more person has downloaded my book, that they were in Germany or Japan. I still grin like a loon when someone says, "Stephen wrote a book you know," and people look at me in surprise. Of course I've always got my tablet with me to show them the cover, modestly of course.